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Quick Hits
Rudy Giuliani’s (current) favorite wine: Pinot Aggrievio.
An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.
Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.
Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill which criminalizes decent behavior of any kind, under any circumstances, within Texas. “Republicans will end decency in the Lone Star State,” vowed Abbott.
eTP Book Club Quick Read: “The Wit & Wisdom of Lauren Boebert”