Clinton Runs Sub-Four-Minute Mile, Joins Cast of American Ninja Warrior; Trump Points To Steroid Use
New York (eTruePolitics) – If you’re Hillary Clinton and you’re waiting for Donald Trump to give you a break, don’t.
Bouncing back from a bout of pneumonia, the 68-year-old Clinton ran a sub-four-minute mile before breakfast, worked out for three hours in her new Hillary Ninja Gym, then taped ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” where she finished at the top of the leader board – only to be accused of illegal performance enhancing drug use by the Trump campaign.
“We believe Hillary Clinton is steroid soaked,” said current Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway.
When informed of Conway’s comment, Clinton laughed, dead-lifted a Trump lookalike above her head, cranked out ten reps, and announced she was joining the Season 9 cast of NBC’s just-renewed “American Ninja Warrior.”
“She’s sick,” commented Trump’s longtime aide Rudolph Giuliani who pointed out that following the DWTS taping, Clinton abruptly canceled plans to compete in New York City’s Iron Man Competition.
Conway has called on Attorney General Loretta Lynch to investigate charges that Clinton, in an attempt to curry favor with Trump pal Vladi Putin, provided steroids to Russian Olympians which resulted in wide spread disqualifications at the Rio Games.
“Russia and its remarkably fit athletes were robbed because of Hillary Rotten Clinton,” explained Conway.
photo illustration by Ray Dougela