“We all put our Brazilian fighting bottoms on the same way.” New York (eTruePolitics) – Sources close to Donald Trump say the mogul will fight Ronda Rousey, the former UFC  women’s bantamweight champion in a pay-per-view, fund-raising exhibition bout from Las Vegas. Trump, who will fight under the name “The Orangutan,” denied the move […]

The American Flat Earth Society has withdrawn a speaking invitation at the Society’s 2017 national convention in Tulsa to Oklahoma’s former climate-changing-denying Attorney General and current Environmental Protection Agency chief Scott Pruitt. “Flat Earthers can’t afford to be embarrassed,” says spokesman.

New York (eTruePolitics) – Defacto Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is set to replace the American Eagle with the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake, the most venomous snake in the United States, as our national emblem, eTruePolitics has learned. “Animal after my own heart,” mogul explains in tweet.

New York (eTrueSports) – On the eve of the 2016 Players Championship Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is calling for the investigation of Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez. “He looks and sounds Mexican,” explained mogul.

  Indianapolis (eTrueSports) – Apparently tired of being mocked by Trump supporter Bobby Knight for his now infamous verbal flub calling a basketball rim a “ring,” Ted Cruz is calling for the carpet-bombing of the former basketball coach’s highly fortified Indiana compound, eTrueSports has learned. “I want see his lawn glow in the dark,” Cruz […]

Indianapolis (eTruePolitics) – A reportedly distraught Ted Cruz, blaming himself for his now infamous Indiana basketball “ring” flub, is said to be holed up in a hotel room binge watching Johnny Cash sing “Ring of Fire” on his iPad, worried aides told eTrueSports. “It’s beyond sad.  Teddy’s convinced he blew the election and he’s probably […]