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The Flat Earth Society expels Ginni Thomas. “We can’t afford to be embarrassed,” says spokesman.

Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill which criminalizes decent behavior of any kind, under any circumstances, within Texas. “Republicans will end decency in the Lone Star State,” vowed Abbott.

All women are human beings. Marjorie Taylor Greene is a woman. Hence, Marjorie Taylor Greene is a human being. (Warning: The claims contained in this syllogism have been known to cause vomiting.)

A demonstration outside Dallas Cowboys Stadium supporting embattled team owner Jerry Jones was dispersed peacefully Thursday afternoon by Dallas Police, eTruePolitics has learned. “Neither of their hearts were in it,” said a patrolman.