Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – Joe diGenova, President Trump’s new criminal defense attorney, is today facing mounting calls from Congressional Democrats to divest himself from a lucrative hair plug business he co-owns with his wife.
“We built ‘Joey D’s Hair Plug System™’ one follicle at a time into one of the great advanced hair loss companies in the world,” said diGenova, “and we will never sell the company, nor compromise our commitment to providing quality, inexpensive hair restoration for millions of people who can afford it.”
The combative diGenova, who has accused top FBI officials of a criminal plot during the campaign to frame Trump and deprive him of his “constitutional rights,” and four days ago called FBI head Christopher Wray a “coward” and an “embarrassment,” surprised many when he announced that Joey D’s Hair Plug’s would offer steep discounts to hair challenged rank and file FBI agents.
“You have to play along to get along,” diGenova explained with a broad wink, adding that current president Trump was not a Joey D’s client. “He’s got his own system, which works good for him,” said diGenova.
“Of course, we’d be proud to have the president as a client,” interjected diGenova’s wife, Victoria Toensing, the company’s COO.
“That said,” added diGenova, “I’m here to serve the country, not make money on hair plugs.”
‘Joey D’s Hair Plug System’ was set up in Delaware as an LLC by Trump’s longtime personal lawyer, Mickey Cohen, who, diGenova joked, “needs to be a client very soon.”
The company has not been without controversy, and is currently defending itself in a class action suit brought by angry customers alleging that “Joey D’s” made false claims about the system’s effectiveness, labeling hair plugs as outdated technology long since replaced by far more effective hair transplants.
“Plug this, Joey,” said one angry 28-year old client. “I was thinning, now I don’t have a single hair on my head.”
“No one calls me a ‘fraudster and weasel of the first order,’ and gets away with it,” commented diGenova.
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela